WHY DO YOU THINK I FEEL NOTHING? even though i mostly act like i do, even when i say i don't feel anything, even when i declare on the roof tops that i feel nothing, i am a goddamn human for god-sake, i feel something, there's an heart inside my rib cage, after the drugs, after the pills, after the potion, after everything!!, after everything!!!, i am human, i have a heart, i put my hands on my chest and it beats there's a rhythm,i check my pulse blood flows in my veins, i see my mum, and i see my dad, i hear their cries, it hurts me too, i tell them it hurts me too, i tell them i am in pain, they are not happy, they don't believe, they think i am a junkie, i sound like a junkie, i know, i act like a junkie, i know, i need help, yeah, i know.
what are you offering?, is it mediocre? is it mundane? is it routine? is it the same thing everyone is taking? i won't accept it... i'm not crazy, neither am i insane, i just want things to change, i am so hungry for change it consumes me it takes over every ounce of my soul, i want to move, i want to do something worth my time, everyday i want to work hard and smart towards my goals, i want the truth of life,what really works for me,dad is worried,mum is mad, they truly are, i'm sorry i made them that way, i am not tired of life(maybe i am ) but i will not die until i see them happy, i am not going any where, i want to make things right, i wish they will stop thinking i am smoking again, i wish they would stop being so afraid of me i am a third year computer science student in the university of Benin,Nigeria i smoked weed (marijuana) and i liked it, that was more than three months ago i haven't smoked or done any drugs since early march but my parents won't believe me, i broke their heart, i know, i know they are scarred of me, i know they are afraid, i am afraid of me, i scare me, if someone ever said i would be like this i will never believe i love my parents i really i do it hurts me to see them sad, it really does, i feel that!!!! i feel their stress!!!, i know they don't want me to feel that, but i do, i am sorry mum, i am sorry dad, i love you both, but i have to 'do me' i have to 'do me' i have to express myself i have to put my self out there, i know it is scary, i know it is scary, i know it is scary,it scars the sh*t out of me
I remember everything that happened, i remember everything i did, i remember how hard it was, i remember prison, i remember freedom, i remember getting out, all thanks to mum, i'll forever love her, i'll forever love her, i'll forever be grateful to her, but someone please explain to her i want to 'do me' i want to find me, i'm on a journey of self discovery mama please try and understand me i love you but i have to do 'do me'.
what are you offering?, is it mediocre? is it mundane? is it routine? is it the same thing everyone is taking? i won't accept it... i'm not crazy, neither am i insane, i just want things to change, i am so hungry for change it consumes me it takes over every ounce of my soul, i want to move, i want to do something worth my time, everyday i want to work hard and smart towards my goals, i want the truth of life,what really works for me,dad is worried,mum is mad, they truly are, i'm sorry i made them that way, i am not tired of life(maybe i am ) but i will not die until i see them happy, i am not going any where, i want to make things right, i wish they will stop thinking i am smoking again, i wish they would stop being so afraid of me i am a third year computer science student in the university of Benin,Nigeria i smoked weed (marijuana) and i liked it, that was more than three months ago i haven't smoked or done any drugs since early march but my parents won't believe me, i broke their heart, i know, i know they are scarred of me, i know they are afraid, i am afraid of me, i scare me, if someone ever said i would be like this i will never believe i love my parents i really i do it hurts me to see them sad, it really does, i feel that!!!! i feel their stress!!!, i know they don't want me to feel that, but i do, i am sorry mum, i am sorry dad, i love you both, but i have to 'do me' i have to 'do me' i have to express myself i have to put my self out there, i know it is scary, i know it is scary, i know it is scary,it scars the sh*t out of me
I remember everything that happened, i remember everything i did, i remember how hard it was, i remember prison, i remember freedom, i remember getting out, all thanks to mum, i'll forever love her, i'll forever love her, i'll forever be grateful to her, but someone please explain to her i want to 'do me' i want to find me, i'm on a journey of self discovery mama please try and understand me i love you but i have to do 'do me'.
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